Monday, August 13, 2012

God Loves Me

I've been feeling a lot lately that God couldn't possibly love me.  The words coming out of my mouth (& therefore my heart) have been awful, I've had anger in my heart (which often comes out as impatience with Michael), & my affections toward God have been cold & distant.  Nothing whatsoever to love, & plenty to hate.  It's kind of a hopeless feeling, believing that God doesn't love you.  All of a sudden, it came to me this morning that there has never been anything worth loving in me, & yet God always has & chose to save me.  Not because of who I am or what I've done, but because of who He is & what His Son has done.  I didn't do anything to earn God's love, but He freely bestowed it upon me while I was His enemy.  What makes me think that I can do anything to earn His love now that I'm His child?  Or lose it?

God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Since, therefore, we have now been justified by His blood, much more shall we be saved by Him from the wrath of God.  For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of His Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by His life.  ~Romans 5:8-10


April Hollingsworth said...

Sounds like you may be coming down with postpartum depression. Please, call me and we can get together. I've been down that road and it's the worst road you can travel down. We can go for a walk or something. Exercise is the best medicine. Let's tackle this before it tackles you!

The Boyds said...

I don't know if you'll check back to see this, but I promise I'm not. I must have made things sound worse than I feel, a hazard of writing quickly while I had a spare moment. I am overwhelmingly happy being a mom, even in the sleepless times. It's just that every now & then I feel like "how could God possibly love me with all of this sin?" - completely forgetting that He loved me before He saved me, & I shouldn't expect less now. Sorry to have frightened you, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate you stepping in to help me.

Lisa said...

None of us are worthy. Take a look at the Apostle Peter...and Paul. Didn't he wonder why he kept doing what he didn't want to do? I am glad that the Holy Spirit whispered to you to let you know the truth. He loves you and has blessed you beyond belief. Certainly with Emma and Michael...but also with friends like April. And, of course, your sweet mama... even if she hasn't been able to visit since the day before you went home. Love you more than you can imagine.