Love the Brethren

"By this shall all men know that you are My disciples, if you love one another." No words can be plainer; & the consequence is equally plain, however hard it may bear upon any professors, that though they could speak with the tongues of angels, had the knowledge of all mysteries, a power of working miracles, & a zeal prompting them to give their bodies to be burned in defence of the truth; yet if they love not the brethren, they are but as sounding brass or tinkling cymbals: they may make a great noise in the church & in the world; they may be wise & able men, as the words are now frequently understood; they may pray or preach with great fluency; but in the sight of God their faith is dead, & their religion is vain.

~John Newton, A Pen Dipped in Love

Love is a Verb

"I love you!", she enthused.  How very easy it is to say those words.  But, as the song goes - & as life bears out - "love is a verb".  Likewise, "actions speak louder than words".  It's not enough to tell someone that you love them.  You have to back that up - or even precede the words - with actions that demonstrate love.  When someone you know is sick, bring them a meal or offer to clean the house or pick up prescriptions for them.  If someone's car breaks down, lend them your own or arrange to drive them around.  If someone they love has died, drop by to visit them or call them so they can cry on your shoulder or hug them when you see them out & about.  Give feet to your words, & when you say, "I love you!", it'll be believable.

I'm Thankful

Ginger's lymph nodes are slightly smaller!  Dr. H said that it would probably take a few days to get any response from this last one-two punch of chemo, but I honestly didn't expect anything.  Her breathing is a little easier, which is such a relief to me.  She even seems to be moving a little bit more quickly, which I take to mean that she feels at least somewhat better.  I'm not in denial, I know what's still coming, but at least it doesn't seem to be happening in the next couple of days anymore.  So, I'm very pleased.  And thankful.

I'm also thankful for my family.  My sister-in-law called to check on Ginger.  My sister & nephew called to check on me, as did a cousin whom I haven't talked to or seen in 15 years.  Granny gave her condolences when we spoke last night.  Of course, Mama & I talk daily, & she cries when I do & speaks God's truth to me.  Michael's right by my side, trying everything he can to alleviate my suffering.  And then there's my eternal family.  Several of my brothers & sisters in Christ have emailed, called, or left comments here to offer their encouragement & support.  I am so blessed to have so many loving, godly people in my life.  If any of these people are reading this, let me say that I can never convey to all of you how much it has meant to me to have your love & support.  I love y'all deeply & am thankful for you.  I'm blessed to have y'all in my life.

Humble Orthodoxy

Before coming to the Reformed faith, I lived my Christian life pretty much like I suppose a lot of Christians do. I went to church on Sunday, listened to my CCM radio station & CDs, & read my Daily Guideposts . . . well . . . daily. I loved God & longed to worship Him. Even to this day, death seems so joyful to me, because when that moment comes, I will see my Savior face-to-face. . .& that is a glorious thought! Since I was 15, I've had a true faith in Him, but it was seriously lacking in true knowledge of Him.

Enter Reformed theology. The first sermon from a Reformed pastor that I listened to was on expiation entitled "Jesus Died to Cleanse Our Filth" by Mark Driscoll. I remember cleaning my house while listening to it & having to sit down several times to just listen & cry. The second sermon was "15 Words of Hope" by John MacArthur. I listened to it on the way to AL to meet Michael's family, as well as on the way back. That sermon was my first exposure to expositional preaching, & it felt like breathing for the first time. I'd never heard anything so magnetic in all my life! I had no idea that sermons could bring about such deep understanding of Scripture. In that moment, I realized that the sermons I'd been hearing all my life had only scratched the surface of God's Word. For a few years, I had felt like something was missing in my church's worship service as well as in my own walk with God. I knew instantly that this was it. In short, I'd been drinking milk while unknowingly craving meat. And, boy, did John MacArthur serve up some steak! There was no going back for me.

I wholeheartedly believe Reformed theology to be true to Scripture. I've searched out God's Word & have found all of the Reformed doctrines to be biblical doctrines. But a problem soon arose in my zeal. I became brash & abrasive in defending Reformed theology & correcting erroneous beliefs. Michael has said that those who are new to the Reformed faith need to be locked up for a couple of years until their zeal mellows. This was SO me! It didn't matter who it was, if they espoused a belief that I knew to be unbiblical, I set them straight right fast! Now, there's nothing wrong with correcting error - in fact, it's wrong not to - but it does matter how you do it. And the only word for my manner of correction was harsh. Completely unloving.

It's been more than 3 years now since coming to the Reformed faith. I'm glad to say that God did convict me of my unloving attitudes. I realize now that I don't have to nitpick what people say, & if they are in error that loving correction is godly correction. I also came to the understanding that there are true believers in unreformed churches. None of us have it all figured out, & when we die & join our fellow believers before the throne of God, we'll see just how much we got wrong in this life.  We'll also see the one thing we all got right, by the grace of God:  trust in the Lord Jesus Christ alone as our atonement for sin.

So, here are my three main admonitions to my fellow believers:

     1.) Search out the Scriptures & place yourself under men of God who dedicate their lives to presenting God's Word to the flock truly & accurately. (At the top of my list of well-known pastors are John Piper, John MacArthur, & David Platt.)  Commit to holding Scripture, not your personal opinions or feelings, as your measuring stick.

     2.) Be humble. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for someone is to show them their error. But, if you do have to correct someone who is in error, do so gently & lovingly, remembering that God is gentle & loving with you & such a spirit honors & glorifies Him. In this same vein, evaluate your own beliefs in light of Scripture, being humble enough to admit when you're wrong & change accordingly.

     3.) Remember that it's okay to disagree as long as both parties support their views with an accurate interpretation & application of Scripture. Just because someone doesn't believe something just exactly as you do doesn't mean they aren't true believers.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. . . . Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. ~ 1 Cor. 13:1; 4-5a

P.S. For anyone not familiar with Reformed theology or the Doctrines of Grace, I will be writing posts on this topic sometime in the near (hopefully) future.  Feel free to ask any questions you may have, though.

God's Truth Convicts & Heals

I've been chafing lately under the storms of my life. Granted, I know perfectly well that my "storms" don't even begin to compare with those that are raging through others' lives. Not even close. At one time, that wasn't much help to me, but it is now. Now I realize that even though I may not be as tried as others at the moment, that doesn't diminish the hurt that I feel in the midst of the fire. But it does put things into perspective. So, while I smart over my own gashes & scars, I give thanks that they're not deeper & more lasting than they are, while praying for those whose wounds are very deep & lasting.

One trial after another has washed over me, & the cumulative effect has been for me to grow irritable, selfish, & unmerciful towards others. As only God can ordain things, He has chiseled at me with four successive writings in the last couple of days that have brought me up short. As a result, I have been humbled, made meek. I have been shown my own sin & folly & been sorely ashamed. Sorely ashamed &, yet, healed. I don't think we can really, truly take refuge in the Gospel until we've been brought face-to-face with how abominable our sin is.

The first was this post by my favorite new blog. She quotes from Spurgeon's Morning and Evening (July 11 morning entry). It so gripped my sore & hardened heart that I had to read it for myself in our copy. The most convicting part for me was:

     "But notice how this blessing of being established in the faith is gained. The apostle’s words point us to suffering as the means employed- “After you have suffered a little while.” It is of no use to hope that we shall be well rooted if no winds pass over us. Those old gnarlings on the root of the oak tree and those strange twistings of the branches all tell of the many storms that have swept over it, and they are also indicators of the depth into which the roots have forced their way. So the Christian is made strong and firmly rooted by all the trials and storms of life. Do not shrink then from the tempestuous winds of trial, but take comfort, believing that by their rough discipline God is fulfilling this benediction to you.”

On the heels of this, came this article on Girls Gone Wise. As I read through different women whom I admire who have laid down their very lives for Christ, I was stabbed through the heart again. They laid aside cherished dreams and lived their entire lives in service to God out of love for Christ. And here I am, demanding my own comfort, complaining over a few little inconveniences & aggravations?! Disgusting!

     "When I study these women’s lives, I am astounded and inspired by their level of commitment to Jesus Christ. They didn’t just say He was their first love; they lived it. Whether they gave up their right to be married in order to serve Christ, or gave up the “happily ever after” lifestyle they’d always dreamed of, nothing was more important than protecting the honor of their Lord and King.

So it must be with us."

Not to be outdone, Michael read this to me from Foundations of the Christian Faith by Boice:

     "Self-denial should not be difficult for any Christian to understand for this is what it means to become a Christian. It means to have turned your back on any attempt to please God through your own human abilities and efforts, and instead to have accepted by faith what God has done in Christ for your salvation. . . .Living the Christian life is, therefore, only a matter of continuing in the way we have started." (pg. 461)

He, perhaps unwittingly, touched upon exactly that sore spot that God wanted him to touch. Here I've been demanding my own way, expecting certain loving treatment that I'm entitled to, & refusing to deny my own comfort for the sake of someone else. Then he reads this to me. Ouch.

And then, finally, I picked up my copy of Young Lady's Guide to the Harmonious Development of Christian Character by Harvey Newcomb & opened up to Chapter 4 entitled "Charity". I was immediately convicted, & when I read it aloud to Michael I burst into tears over this:

     "Charity suffers long. It will endure ill treatment, and prefer suffering to strife. It will not resent the first encroachments, but patiently bear with injuries as long as they can be borne. If charity reigns in your heart, you will consider how many and aggravated are your own offences against God, and yet that His long-suffering bears with your perverseness, and He is daily loading you with benefits; and shall you be impatient with the slightest offences from a fellow-worm? Consider, also, how liable you are to encroach upon the rights of others, and to try their patience by your infirmities. Do not, therefore, be hasty in the indulgence of hard thoughts of others, nor impatient of their faults and infirmities. How much contention and strife might be avoided by a little forbearance! And who is there so perfect as not sometimes to need it to be extended toward himself?" (pg. 49-50)

In harboring my sin, I've been so very blind. Thank you, Lord, for giving me sight & melting this cold heart of stone. Grow my roots deep, so that I can suffer long in love, deny myself, & weather the storms of life. Amen.

Transforming Love

When we started this blog, my first post was about a difficult person that I have to deal with. I have no choice in the matter; she's in my life whether I like it or not. Thing is, I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I hated it & wished with all of my might that the situation was such that somebody else had her role in my life. Somebody sweet & kind, who would love me & be always pleasing to deal with. Like Kate Mortimer (Stepping Heavenward), I'm not always the easiest person to get along with. My temper flares up easily enough without an intentionally belligerent person pushing my buttons, thank you very much! Therefore, I need to be surrounded by pleasant people who will not draw out my flaws & tempt me to sin, people who will make my path to glory easy. . .or so went my thinking at the time.

Well! God gave me a rude awakening when He placed this person in my life. And yes, I do believe that her role in my life is the work of His all-knowing, all-merciful hand. He knew what I didn't, that this person would be a refining fire for me. That He ordained her verbal jabs & tiresome behaviors to push my patience & temper to the brink, forcing my sanctification in both of these areas. He knew that she would grate on my nerves so badly that those rough edges would eventually be filed smooth. I didn't see it - or appreciate it - then, but I do now.

In just a moment, when He allowed me to see this person through His eyes that one evening, God transformed my heart from one of begrudging acceptance to one of love. I wondered if it would last, if my feelings would flee at the next trying interaction with her, but they didn't & still haven't. Amazingly, thankfully, I now have a true, heart-stirring, compassionate, merciful, forgiving, God-given love for her! The way this love has worked itself out practically is even more amazing. I no longer shy away from hugging her, & I even tell her I love her each time I leave her presence. . .& I mean it. Now, it truly gladdens my heart to help her. In the name of honesty, I have to admit that's not always the case; there are still times when I view helping her as an inconvenience. However, on those occasions - rather than justifying my sinful response as I used to - God's hand is heavy on me until I face my sin & repent. My view used to be that her hurtful actions had certain consequences, that if she was going to be malicious, then she could just do for herself rather than expecting us to do for her. By & large, God has cured me of this sin. Of course, by no means have my "rough edges" been completely worn smooth; no, we still have quite a ways to go! There are still times when I allow her words & behaviors to offend & anger me. However, God has begun to work in me so that I no longer hold onto my hurts & nurse a grudge. He shows me, each time, how my thoughts, feelings, attitudes, words, & deeds are sin. Then He brings me to repentance & I bask in His forgiveness, knowing that one day He will fully separate me from the sin that His death on the cross has already cancelled.  This process is not easy, but it is done by Him in love & is healing.

By no means is His work done, as I am not nearly fully sanctified! My love for her is not a perfect love; no earthly love is. But it is genuine. It is truly a miracle that He has done this for me. I asked Him for this love, & He granted my request. Not only that, but I also know that He will continue to grow His love in me until I am completely transformed into His image. And for that, I'm truly thankful.

*Our most gracious heavenly Father, thank You for showing me my sin, not just in dealing with this person, but each sin that I commit day in & day out. I know that each sin that I commit, while affecting others, is ultimately against You. I am sorry for my unloving, unforgiving, angry attitudes toward this person. Please forgive me. I thank You so very much for changing my heart, for giving me a love for her. I know this love comes from You, for it was definitely impossible for me to love her on my own. Thank You for this! Thank You for freeing me! And thank You for Your continuing work in me, for continuing to sanctify me so that one day my love for You & for all people will be perfect. I love You, Lord. Make me love You more. In Christ's holy name I pray, Amen.

Learning to Love as Christ

There is a difficult person in my life that I have to deal with. So often, I don't want to deal with her, so I try my hardest to avoid doing so. Or, I deal with her in a very begrudging manner, lamenting over what an inconvenience it is to me. Until today. Today, I saw her in a different light. I saw her through the eyes of Christ. I saw how lonely she is. I saw how wounded she is. I saw how selfish I've been. In avoiding dealing with her, I've exacerbated her loneliness & pain......and reflected Christ poorly. No, to be more direct, I've lied about who Christ is. I have felt justified in avoiding her as much as possible because, after all, her poor behavior deserves my shunning of her. "I don't have to put myself into an abusive situation", I said to myself (& my husband) just last night. "She has to learn that her bad behavior has consequences & she can't just treat people any way she wants to & get away with it" was my next statement. But today, I was forced to deal with her, & Christ brought me face-to-face with my sin. What if Christ had used the same arguments with me? What if He had said, "I don't have to die for her! She's just going to continue to sin against Me. She's going to take My sacrifice for granted as she chooses sin over Me time & again. She's not worthy for Me to die for. She has to learn that her bad behavior has consequences that she has to pay for." If He had taken the same approach with me that I've taken with her, I would be sent to hell. Thank God (literally), He did not do this! Thank God that He became incarnate, lived a perfectly sinless life, died for my sins - bearing God's wrath - & rose again all on my behalf -- even though I am SO unworthy! Without His grace & mercy, I would be hopeless & helpless. And as His child, as His redeemed & justified child, I am to serve others in the same way. Even when they're rude, arrogant, or simply irritating. Even when they ridicule, insult, & abuse me (as they did Him). Not begrudgingly, but with joy, love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, self-control, & gentleness.

*God, please help me to love this person as You have loved me. Give me Your mercy & humility in dealing with her so that when she looks at me, she sees You. Please use me in any way You choose to minister to her. Heal her wounds & show her that she needs You, all the while continuing to sanctify me. Glorify Yourself through me, Lord. In Christ's holy name, Amen.