The Sanctification of Parenthood

And so begins the sanctification of parenthood. Not that it hasn't already been happening, but now it begins in earnest! See, our little angel is a little sinner. A little sinner who has inherited her Mama's temper. Up until now, when something hasn't gone her way, little Miss Emma has simply cried. Like a couple of mornings ago when I was attempting to load the dishwasher while she was doing her darnedest to unload it. "No", says Mama, with resulting sobs from the baby girl. She obeyed, which I think is why she cried, because she flat didn't want to. Only a couple of days later, & she's added in a slap & emphatic "Unh!" when she doesn't get her way. She's sitting in the way of the door she's trying to open . . . slap, "Unh!" to the mean, uncooperative door. Josie comes up to me while Emma's in my lap . . . slap, "Unh!" to the attention-hogging dog. Mama tells her to be gentle & "we don't hit" . . . slap, "Unh!" to the controlling Mama who dares correct her (which makes the correction have to take place again). This is a mirror to me because I often have outbursts of anger. If there's any sin I struggle with, it's anger. When I hit my head on the washer, or when the limp shower head sitting in the tub suddenly springs to life & sprays hot water in my face, or when I have no counter space in the kitchen because I haven't had time to clean it, or when it's taking 2 years to get her down at night because of all the little "going-to-bed" tasks that have to be completed, I respond with anger . . . all true stories. Poor Emma's got her own sin nature, she doesn't need me displaying my own for her to copy! She needs me to learn to control my anger so I can teach her how to control hers. A task which requires my reliance on God. I am convinced that the more I'm reading & meditating on His Word, the more I'm in communion with Him, the more His Word & His Spirit will dwell in me & change my behavior. Which, of course, demonstrates to Emma how to rely on God to help her overcome her own sin. And then, when I fail & allow my sin nature to control me, I need to model repentance for her. She needs to see me admit my sin to God, her Daddy, & her & ask for forgiveness. She needs to see me trust God's promise that I am forgiven in Christ. And she needs to see that I believe His promise to continue to perfect & sustain me. My hope is that one day, when I look into the mirror that is my child, I'll see Christ's reflection gazing back at me. 

On Carnal Christians ~ Ask R.C.

Here's another great question & answer from R.C.  If I were asked this question, I would simply say "no", which would not be nearly as helpful as the details & distinctions R.C. provides.  Pay particular attention to his distinctions in the last paragraph regarding carnal "Christians" & "carnal" Christians.  Good stuff!

Q:  Are there carnal Christians - ones who profess to believe and go immediately back to their old life, who never show evidence regeneration having taken place?

A:  Yes, there are “carnal” Christians, but no, there are no Christians who never show evidence of regeneration having taken place. The notion that a person could truly embrace the saving work of Christ while not embracing His Lordship is a pernicious error made most popular by Bill Bright and Campus Crusade for Christ. The “scholarly” support for this distorted perspective has come from Charles Ryrie and Zane Hodges both of whom taught at the dispensational mecca of Dallas Theological Seminary.

This idea has any number of problems. First and foremost is that it divides Christ. It is all well and good to distinguish between the three-fold office of Christ, affirming that He is prophet, priest and king. It is another thing altogether to suggest that one can truly embrace one part of that formula, while passing over another. To embrace the Christ who saves as savior but to reject the Christ who reigns as Lord is to divide Christ.

This notion, secondly, deeply misunderstands how it is that we even come to embrace the saving work of Christ. Because we are, by nature, children of wrath, we are unable, in ourselves, to embrace anything of the work of Christ. Before we can come to Him He must change us first. God the Holy Spirit must change our heart before we can come to faith. This is regeneration, which does not flow from our faith but is the source of our faith. If we have been given a new heart, if our inclination is no longer only toward sin, if we are not only changed by but indwelt by the Spirit, how could we help from growing in grace? He has not only forgiven us, but is cleansing us from all sin (I John 1:9).

Third, this notion cuts off the legs of our assurance. While understanding and affirming the biblical doctrine of God’s saving grace is a critical part of our assurance, it is not enough. The demons, after all, know that Jesus lived a perfect life for us, that He died as a substitute for us, receiving the wrath of the Father due to us for our sins. Our assurance is grounded in our embracing the true gospel, and our changed lives. What sets believers apart from demons and false professors of the true faith is that we are indeed changed. We are not without sin, but we are changed.

Which brings us back to the reality of carnal Christians. The term itself comes from Paul’s admonition to the church at Corinth that the believers there are “carnal.” Do carnal Christians exist? Of course they do. We’re all carnal. That is, we still struggle against our sin nature. We still sin. In that sense all believers are carnal. We are changed by the work of the Spirit, but we are not complete. We are not without sin. Our standard then is not “Am I perfect?” for then no one would qualify as a believer. Instead it is “Am I getting better?” I still struggle against sin. Did I not struggle, were I comfortable with my sin, I would be a carnal “Christian.” That I struggle demonstrates that I am a “carnal” Christian. It is a subtle difference from one perspective. From another it is the difference between eternal life and death.

Transforming Love

When we started this blog, my first post was about a difficult person that I have to deal with. I have no choice in the matter; she's in my life whether I like it or not. Thing is, I didn't like it. As a matter of fact, I hated it & wished with all of my might that the situation was such that somebody else had her role in my life. Somebody sweet & kind, who would love me & be always pleasing to deal with. Like Kate Mortimer (Stepping Heavenward), I'm not always the easiest person to get along with. My temper flares up easily enough without an intentionally belligerent person pushing my buttons, thank you very much! Therefore, I need to be surrounded by pleasant people who will not draw out my flaws & tempt me to sin, people who will make my path to glory easy. . .or so went my thinking at the time.

Well! God gave me a rude awakening when He placed this person in my life. And yes, I do believe that her role in my life is the work of His all-knowing, all-merciful hand. He knew what I didn't, that this person would be a refining fire for me. That He ordained her verbal jabs & tiresome behaviors to push my patience & temper to the brink, forcing my sanctification in both of these areas. He knew that she would grate on my nerves so badly that those rough edges would eventually be filed smooth. I didn't see it - or appreciate it - then, but I do now.

In just a moment, when He allowed me to see this person through His eyes that one evening, God transformed my heart from one of begrudging acceptance to one of love. I wondered if it would last, if my feelings would flee at the next trying interaction with her, but they didn't & still haven't. Amazingly, thankfully, I now have a true, heart-stirring, compassionate, merciful, forgiving, God-given love for her! The way this love has worked itself out practically is even more amazing. I no longer shy away from hugging her, & I even tell her I love her each time I leave her presence. . .& I mean it. Now, it truly gladdens my heart to help her. In the name of honesty, I have to admit that's not always the case; there are still times when I view helping her as an inconvenience. However, on those occasions - rather than justifying my sinful response as I used to - God's hand is heavy on me until I face my sin & repent. My view used to be that her hurtful actions had certain consequences, that if she was going to be malicious, then she could just do for herself rather than expecting us to do for her. By & large, God has cured me of this sin. Of course, by no means have my "rough edges" been completely worn smooth; no, we still have quite a ways to go! There are still times when I allow her words & behaviors to offend & anger me. However, God has begun to work in me so that I no longer hold onto my hurts & nurse a grudge. He shows me, each time, how my thoughts, feelings, attitudes, words, & deeds are sin. Then He brings me to repentance & I bask in His forgiveness, knowing that one day He will fully separate me from the sin that His death on the cross has already cancelled.  This process is not easy, but it is done by Him in love & is healing.

By no means is His work done, as I am not nearly fully sanctified! My love for her is not a perfect love; no earthly love is. But it is genuine. It is truly a miracle that He has done this for me. I asked Him for this love, & He granted my request. Not only that, but I also know that He will continue to grow His love in me until I am completely transformed into His image. And for that, I'm truly thankful.

*Our most gracious heavenly Father, thank You for showing me my sin, not just in dealing with this person, but each sin that I commit day in & day out. I know that each sin that I commit, while affecting others, is ultimately against You. I am sorry for my unloving, unforgiving, angry attitudes toward this person. Please forgive me. I thank You so very much for changing my heart, for giving me a love for her. I know this love comes from You, for it was definitely impossible for me to love her on my own. Thank You for this! Thank You for freeing me! And thank You for Your continuing work in me, for continuing to sanctify me so that one day my love for You & for all people will be perfect. I love You, Lord. Make me love You more. In Christ's holy name I pray, Amen.