Top Posts: Week

I like to keep track of my blog stats.  As a matter of fact, I've been known to be just slightly obsessive about checking them.  I enjoy seeing that people are reading this little blog.  Or, I assume they're reading it.  They could just flit in & out for all I know.  Even so, it's fun to see places like Denmark, Singapore, & Ireland crop up in my stats.  I've even been visited by Slovenia (by the way, I miss you)!  It's also interesting to see what posts are being read & which ones are the most popular.  It changes depending on the time period that I'm checking, & I thought I'd share what the top posts are for the week, month, & all-time in separate posts.  There were some definite surprises for me!  I hope you enjoy this little trip down memory lane!

A Bittersweet Closing

Recipe of the Week - Creole Sauce & Rice

Amazing Grace ~ Utsunomiya Girls Choir

Recipe of the Week - Apple Crisp

Smoky Mountain Pictures  (check out the others, too!)

Recipe of the Week - Breakfast Burritos

Murmuring Suits None So Badly As Saints

Ron Paul Wants to Legalize Marijuana . . . And I Support Him!

A Story of Forgiveness

Divided

A Bittersweet Closing

We finally sold our LA house.  I have mixed feelings about it.  It's a bittersweet event for me.  Mostly sweet, especially the whole "not paying two mortgages" part, but there is some sadness.  This was my first home.  When I pulled into the driveway for the first time, I'll admit I was not impressed.  It was not a cutesy cottage with a front porch.  But, the moment I stepped inside, I knew it was mine.  Mrs. Berry had only listed the house the day before; there wasn't even a sign in the front yard yet, & she was busy boxing up her belongings.  I walked from room to room, falling increasingly in love with the house.  It was old, it had charm & character.  It had a huge yard, both front & back, with loads of very old trees.  It even had a screen door.  I considered that God's little gift to me.  I loved it & never expected to move.  Of course, marrying Michael being my reason for moving away, I'm immensely glad I did!  But, I have lots of happy memories there, & it's a little sad to let it go.  Ginger used to chase me around this house.  My sweet niece, Randi, spent the night & we splashed in the dish water, read stories, & fell asleep with a Noah's ark nightlight chasing away the darkness.  I taught 3 classes of second graders while this house was my home.  I met my future husband for the first time here.  Ginger ran around treeing squirrels in the backyard.  Small moments to be sure, but such is the stuff of life, the moments that have real meaning.  I am happy that a family who adores this house as much as I now call it home.  Now they can make memories of their own there, while I continue to do so here with Michael.  As long as I'm with him, I'm always home.  Letting go of my first home is bittersweet.  But mostly sweet.

O Heart Bereaved & Lonely ~ Indelible Grace

This is a song for someone I love very dearly.  I pray it helps her heart.

I Asked the Lord ~ Indelible Grace

These inward trials I employ

From self & pride to set thee free

And break thy schemes of earthly joy

That thou mayest seek thy all in Me

That thou mayest seek thy all in Me

He doesn't always do what we want Him to do, but He does always do what is best.

Snapshots of Our Life

I love pictures!  Don't you love pictures?  One of my favorite blogs does nothing but share pictures & fun captions.  I haven't shared any pictures in a while, so I trawled through ours & found some that you haven't seen yet.  I hope you enjoy them!

 Thankfully, he still has all of his fingers!

 "That's my stick!"  "No, it's mine!"

 The fruits of his labor.  This thing isn't going anywhere!

 It's a hard knock life!

 We're taking our doctor's advice here & going with a bear attack.

 Mmmmm . . . cheese!

 Chillin' under the shade of the crab apple tree

 For once, I was able to surprise him for his birthday!

 Mini meatloafs inspired by Sommer.  Soooo good!

 No power after the tornado meant candlelight, open windows, & pizza for supper.

 This girl always wants to be outside!

Sunny sunflowers from our anniversary.

Are Respect & Submission Synonymous?

I've written on submission before, so forgive me for strolling down these paths again, but I feel compelled to address the issue once more after Michele Bauchmann's absurd remark that submission & respect are synonymous in her marriage.  Certainly, respect is a vital component of any healthy marriage, but it is not the same as submission, & we'd be fools to act as though they are.  Respect is to hold someone in esteem, while submission is to yield to another's authority.  Oftentimes, we will respect those whom we submit to, but we don't always submit to those whom we respect.  For instance, I respect my sister-in-law, but I'm not submissive towards her.  On the other hand, I both respect & submit to Michael.  He, however, while respecting me does not submit to me.  That is not his calling as my husband, while it is mine as his wife.  God has been clear in His Word:

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, His body, and is Himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. (Eph. 5:22-24)

Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Col. 3:18)

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be reviled. (Titus 2:3-5)

We should practice both respect & submission in our marriages without confusing the two.  They are both important, but they are not interchangeable.  Let's live in the light of God's Word so that our marriages may be glorifying to God.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Law & Grace: Old Friends

There is apparently much debate regarding holiness that is pitting God's grace against God's law.  I haven't entered into the fray here - honestly, I don't read many blogs anymore, they're just too time-consuming - but my understanding of it is that people believe that if we believe & preach grace, then there is no need to preach the commands of Scripture, & it might even be harmful to do so.  Ironically, I wonder what Paul would have to say to that argument.  Well, not really, because in reading his epistles, I know what he would say . . . & if you don't, you need to read said epistles.

So, anyways, Michael - who keeps up with this stuff - told me about Kevin DeYoung's post on this issue & fairly raved over it.  I hopped on over to Mr. DeYoung, Restless, & Reformed to see what he had to say & found these incredibly wise & well-timed words:

"Let’s not be afraid to land on law—never as the means of meriting justification, but as the proper expression of having received it. It’s not wrong for a sermon to conclude with something we have to do. It’s not inappropriate that our counseling exhort one another to obedience. Legalism is a problem in the church, but so is antinomianism. Granted, I don’t hear anyone saying “let’s continue in sin that grace may abound” (Rom. 6:1). That’s the worst form of antinomianism. But strictly speaking antinomianism simply means no-law, and some Christians have very little place for the law in the pursuit of holiness. One scholar says about an antinomian pastor from 17th century England: “He believed that the law served a useful purpose in convincing men of their need of a Saviour; nevertheless, he gave it little or no place in the life of a Christian since he held that ‘free grace is the teacher of good works.’” Emphasizing free grace is not the problem. The problem is in assuming that good works will invariably flow from nothing but a diligent emphasis on the gospel.

The irony is that if we make every imperative into a command to believe the gospel more fully, we turn the gospel into one more thing we have to get right and faith becomes the one thing we need to be better at. If only we really believed, obedience would take care of itself. No need for commands or effort. But the Bible does not reason this way. It has no problem with the word “therefore.” Grace, grace, grace, therefore, stop doing this, start doing that, and obey the commands of God. Good works should always be rooted in the good news of Christ’s death and resurrection, but I believe we are expecting too much from the “flow” and not doing enough to teach that obedience to the law—from a willing spirit, as made possible by the Holy Spirit—is the proper response to free grace.

For as much as Luther derided the misuse of the Law, he did not reject the positive role of the law in the believer’s life. The Lutheran Formula of Concord is absolutely right in when it says, “We believe, teach, and confess that the preaching of the Law is to be urged with diligence, not only upon the unbelieving and impenitent, but also upon true believers, who are truly converted, regenerate, and justified by faith” (Epitome 6.2). Preachers must preach the law without embarrassment. Parents must insist on obedience without shame. The law can, and should, be urged upon true believers—not to condemn, but to correct and promote Christlikeness. Both the indicatives of Scripture and the imperatives are from God, for our good, and given in grace."  Read the rest here.

Just as with God's sovereignty & man's responsibility, so are law & grace - you don't have to reconcile old friends.

Loss is Gain

*Be prepared:  this is going to be a long post.  Also, I will be as discrete as possible, but some detailed explanation is needed to ensure understanding.

This has been a dreadful week.  Not only for what has taken place, but also for what I have learned about myself.  It all started 3 weeks ago, & these 3 weeks have been a roller coaster ride, a continuously revolving cycle of hope, followed by ever-increasing anxiety & desperation, & culminating in crushing disappointment & confusion.  I have learned a lot of lessons in this relatively short time span - lessons about trust, hope, & patience; lessons about how deeply embedded is my sin, how truly depraved I am.

I am 3 weeks late.  Now, having PCOS, that is not unheard of; my longest gap between cycles before treatment was 2 years.  However, in the almost 2 years since I've been taking Metformin, I've never been this late.  Add to that the fact that I've been regularly exercising & have had a few of the classic symptoms, & we genuinely thought we were pregnant.  So much so that we immediately began taking home pregnancy tests every few days.  Because I have wacky hormone levels, we assumed the negative results were simply due to us taking them too early.  All throughout this, I have been forcefully reminded of how Harry Potter felt as he competed in the Triwizard Tournament.  As each test day approached, I experienced a mounting tension & anxiety, which reached a fever pitch to the point where I thought I would either lose my mind or my lunch.  Then, once we got the results, along with disappointment, I would feel a calm until the next test day approached.  For two & a half weeks, this has been my life.  It has drained me & left me frazzled.

During this time, God has been teaching me a few different lessons.  Patience has never been my strong suit.  I had no choice here but to be patient; there was absolutely nothing I could do to move things along.  I guess, though, come to think of it, perhaps God was simply showing me my penchant for impatience, because - while I did have fleeting moments or perhaps even a day here or there where I was calmly waiting - I was mighty anxious for answers the rest of the time.  I know that another lesson he wanted me to learn regarded hope.  Perhaps Proverbs 13:12 doesn't mean this, but I began to see that when I "defer hope" from God & place it on something else - in this case, being with child - that my "heart [becomes] sick".  Finally, of course this experience is meant to strengthen my faith.  Although that has been the end result, for a time I failed miserably in this area, but I'll get to that in a moment.

Even though we kept pulling up negatives, we could see no other logical explanation, so it was practically impossible to keep our minds from daydreaming about the possibilities.  We've had names picked out for a while, so we dwelled instead on how we would tell people & how we would have to redecorate the house.  We were so hopeful that we would be able to surprise our families, which - if that's you - explains why you didn't know about this until earlier this week.  We only told our closest friends that we thought we might be pregnant.  We were bursting to tell someone, & our thought here was that our friends would not be as disappointed as our family.  They have proven us wrong on that account, & I've been amazed at how they have entered into our grief with us.  Having to tell everyone that we're not pregnant has been difficult, but I can't even begin to express how deeply I appreciate the love & encouragement that we've received.  The fact that our friends are mourning with us means more than I can say.  Especially Sommer, Sweet T, Angie, Amber, & Katie.  These ladies have known me for less than a year, & the love that they have lavished on me has been overwhelming.  I didn't think I could love you more, ladies, & yet, I do.

The strain of the HPTs finally broke us, & we went to our family doctor on Monday for a blood test.  Michael was certain that it would be positive; I was terrified that it wouldn't be.  Turns out that whole "expect the worst, hope for the best" thing isn't helpful in the least.  Everything came crashing down when we got the call the next day that the test was negative.  I immediately called our OB, got an appointment for Wednesday, & then curled up in our bed & sobbed my heart out.  Here was my lowest point.  The point when my faith failed.  All of a sudden, I allowed myself to dwell on thoughts about God that I've never had in my life.  I questioned His love for me.  I believed that He was being cruel, that He was sitting on high laughing at my pain.  I could not wrap my head around why He was "doing this to me".  I would have been perfectly fine if my cycle had begun when it was supposed to, so I could not comprehend why He would dangle this hope before me like a carrot forever beyond my reach when He knows how much I desire being a mother.  I tell you this not because I'm proud of it, but expressly because I'm not.  Michael held me while I wept & railed.  After about half an hour, I lay there spent, calm.  And gradually, I felt peace & even happiness invade my soul.  Unbeknownst to me, Michael was silently praying for God to give me grace, & even though I had been arrogantly faithless & altogether undeserving, He gave it to me.  How deep the Father's love, indeed.  That evening, Michael & I clasped hands & I prayed a prayer of deep repentance & thankfulness.  I have seen anew the depths of my sin & the wonder of being forgiven by my Father.

By the time our OB appointment came, I knew that the results of another blood test would be negative.  I have accepted that we are not with child, even while I am left to wonder what is going on.  All through this, we have contemplated the glory that God would receive, the praise that we would give Him in front of everyone if He had given us this gift.  I've struggled with not understanding why this would not be the best way for Him to receive glory from us.  Because God does everything for His glory, I've come to comprehend that He means to receive glory from us another way - namely, by the growth of our faith in Him in the midst of this trial.  So, I stand here now declaring that God is good, that He loves me, & that He is working out His plan - even if He chooses not to share all of the details with me.  Trust is not always an easy thing to come by.  I have had times in my life where my faith in God never wavered, where I easily trusted Him even though I was hurting.  That was not the case this time; for the first time in my life, I doubted Him.  Now I know that sometimes you have to fight to trust.  I'm so thankful to have a godly husband & godly friends who have ministered to me & pointed me toward God throughout this, & even now continue to do so.  I'm thankful for the love & support of my Mama & Daddy, my sister-in-law Beth, & my cousin Scott.  I appreciate everyone's encouragement & covet your prayers.  Thank you for being the body of Christ to us.

Soli Deo Gloria

Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

Sometimes, life can wear you down.  Here's a lovely song in case you're feeling a little worn down today.  Close your eyes & pray the words.  Run to the only true refuge for weary souls.  May the God of grace & mercy bring you peace & healing.

War on Life

Read this superbly illuminating article by Al Mohler regarding the war that's being declared on crisis pregnancy centers.  We do indeed live in a "culture of death".

"Crisis pregnancy centers deserve the support of all who cherish the sanctity of life, the defense of the unborn, and the right of free speech. As defenders of life, crisis pregnancy centers should be committed to nothing less than comprehensive truth-telling. It is the Culture of Death, and not the Culture of Life, that fears the truth."

On Carnal Christians ~ Ask R.C.

Here's another great question & answer from R.C.  If I were asked this question, I would simply say "no", which would not be nearly as helpful as the details & distinctions R.C. provides.  Pay particular attention to his distinctions in the last paragraph regarding carnal "Christians" & "carnal" Christians.  Good stuff!

Q:  Are there carnal Christians - ones who profess to believe and go immediately back to their old life, who never show evidence regeneration having taken place?

A:  Yes, there are “carnal” Christians, but no, there are no Christians who never show evidence of regeneration having taken place. The notion that a person could truly embrace the saving work of Christ while not embracing His Lordship is a pernicious error made most popular by Bill Bright and Campus Crusade for Christ. The “scholarly” support for this distorted perspective has come from Charles Ryrie and Zane Hodges both of whom taught at the dispensational mecca of Dallas Theological Seminary.

This idea has any number of problems. First and foremost is that it divides Christ. It is all well and good to distinguish between the three-fold office of Christ, affirming that He is prophet, priest and king. It is another thing altogether to suggest that one can truly embrace one part of that formula, while passing over another. To embrace the Christ who saves as savior but to reject the Christ who reigns as Lord is to divide Christ.

This notion, secondly, deeply misunderstands how it is that we even come to embrace the saving work of Christ. Because we are, by nature, children of wrath, we are unable, in ourselves, to embrace anything of the work of Christ. Before we can come to Him He must change us first. God the Holy Spirit must change our heart before we can come to faith. This is regeneration, which does not flow from our faith but is the source of our faith. If we have been given a new heart, if our inclination is no longer only toward sin, if we are not only changed by but indwelt by the Spirit, how could we help from growing in grace? He has not only forgiven us, but is cleansing us from all sin (I John 1:9).

Third, this notion cuts off the legs of our assurance. While understanding and affirming the biblical doctrine of God’s saving grace is a critical part of our assurance, it is not enough. The demons, after all, know that Jesus lived a perfect life for us, that He died as a substitute for us, receiving the wrath of the Father due to us for our sins. Our assurance is grounded in our embracing the true gospel, and our changed lives. What sets believers apart from demons and false professors of the true faith is that we are indeed changed. We are not without sin, but we are changed.

Which brings us back to the reality of carnal Christians. The term itself comes from Paul’s admonition to the church at Corinth that the believers there are “carnal.” Do carnal Christians exist? Of course they do. We’re all carnal. That is, we still struggle against our sin nature. We still sin. In that sense all believers are carnal. We are changed by the work of the Spirit, but we are not complete. We are not without sin. Our standard then is not “Am I perfect?” for then no one would qualify as a believer. Instead it is “Am I getting better?” I still struggle against sin. Did I not struggle, were I comfortable with my sin, I would be a carnal “Christian.” That I struggle demonstrates that I am a “carnal” Christian. It is a subtle difference from one perspective. From another it is the difference between eternal life and death.

A Christian View of the Debt Crisis

The following is a very well-written letter from CASE (Christians for A Sustainable Economy) that I believe needs to be read by all.  You can see the list of co-founders & signatories here & sign it yourself here.

"Dear President Obama, Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Boehner,

Recently, in the midst of the debt-ceiling crisis, a group calling themselves the “Circle of Protection,” led by Jim Wallis of the activist group Sojourners, met with you and your staff to claim that biblical mandates preclude limits to federal programs for low-income people. The Circle includes representatives of the National Association of Evangelicals, Bread for the World, and the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Wallis and the “Circle of Protection” do not speak for all Christians. However laudable their intentions, the consequence of their action is to provide a religious imprimatur for big government and sanctify federal welfare programs that are often ineffective — even counterproductive. Contrary to their founding “Statement,” we do not need to “protect programs for the poor.” We need to protect the poor themselves. Indeed, sometimes we need to protect them from the very programs that ostensibly serve the poor, but actually demean the poor, undermine their family structures and trap them in poverty, dependency and despair for generations. Such programs are unwise, uncompassionate, and unjust.

Let no one be deceived: the Budget Control Act may resolve the immediate cash-flow crisis, but the long-term crisis of government insolvency remains. The Act does not touch the mountain of debt we are preparing to pass on to our families; in fact, the purpose of the Act is to permit our leaders to make that mountain larger, by raising the debt ceiling. This debt will only impoverish even more Americans. So we ask that you meet with us, Christians for A Sustainable Economy (case4america.org). We believe the poor of this generation and generations to come are best served by policies that promote economic freedom and growth, that encourage productivity and creativity in every able person, and that wisely steward our common resources for generations to come. All Americans – especially the poor – are best served by sustainable economic policies for a free and flourishing society. When creativity and entrepreneurship are rewarded, the yield is an increase of productivity and generosity.

Compassion and charity for “the least of these” is an essential expression of our faith, flowing from a heart inclined towards God. And just as the love of God frees us for a more abundant life, so our charity must go beyond mere material provision to meet the deeper needs of the poor. To suggest that Matthew 25 – or any commandment concerning Christian charity – can be met through wealth redistribution is to obscure these truths. We encourage you to consider the whole counsel of scripture, which urges not only compassion and provision for the poor but also the perils of debt and the importance of wise stewardship.

To the question, “What would Jesus cut?”, we add the question, “Whom would Jesus indebt?” The Good Samaritan did not use a government credit card.

The government plays an important role, and communities do need the support of social safety nets for those in need. A Christian approach to the budget crisis considers the interests of the poor. All of us suffer when our nation exchanges wisdom, prudence, liberty and faithful stewardship for the chronic unemployment of a stagnant economy and the enslaving power of debt.

Both parties have failed. Our common resources have been stewarded unwisely and the United States is trillions of dollars in debt. We have reached a breaking point. Fiscal recklessness must stop. Just as we should not balance the budget “on the backs of the poor,” so we should not balance the budget on the backs of our children and grandchildren.

Even as the debt-ceiling crisis passes, the long-term challenge of making federal spending wise and effective remains. We recommend three steps:

1. Correctly identify the problem.

The debt disaster is a spending issue. Tax revenues are finite, while the growth of government is unceasing. By any measure, federal spending has skyrocketed, from $2.9 trillion in 2008 to $3.8 trillion in 2011. We presently borrow over forty cents of every dollar we spend. While increasing taxes will generate additional revenues and reduce the deficit in the short term, it will ultimately harm the economy, constrain economic growth, and hasten the out-of-control growth of government. To give more money to Washington is to give the sickness the remedy it requests. The last thing the government needs is more money. It needs to cease its unwise and profligate spending.

2. Put narrow political interests aside.

Entrenched political interests stagnate reform. Every cent of government spending must be on the table, for ‘liberal’ and ‘conservative’ priorities alike. The stated intention of helping the needy does not make poverty programs sacrosanct. Some of these programs ‘serve’ the poor so well that they make more people poor and keep them in poverty longer. Stop the demagoguery against those who propose substantive changes to entitlements and social welfare programs.

3. Lead for the long term.

Americans yearn for, and deeply appreciate, leaders who embrace a burden of responsibility that transcends the implications of the next election cycle. While we agree that budgets are moral documents insofar as they reflect values and decisions for which we are morally culpable, long-term budget plans are morally meaningful promises we make to later generations. Right now we are morally failing our children and grandchildren by selling their future flourishing for our present comfort. In hard times, true leaders make hard decisions. We encourage you to put aside political calculations and the pressures of special interest groups to make commitments that are in the long-term interest of the American economy and the American people.

People of faith come in all stripes, and differ on many points. Jim Wallis and the “Circle of Protection” are but one perspective. We believe they have not fully represented the large and diverse community of Christian faith, as you will see by the list of signatories below,* and have conveyed less than the full biblical witness and the counsel it provides in the current crisis. As such, even as you met with the “Circle of Protection,” we request a meeting as well. If you are committed to hearing voices of faith, even those that challenge your policy priorities, we hope you will meet with us.

As Christians striving for a sustainable economy, one that will lift the poor out of poverty and dependency on government (learn more at case4america.org), we thank you for considering our message – and for your service to our nation. May God bless America, and return us soon to wise stewardship of our common resources."

Church Leaders Who Permit Carnality

Church Leaders Who Permit Carnality from NCFIC on Vimeo.

As one of my sisters-in-Christ said so well, I'm thankful our pastor isn't one of these men!

A Story of Forgiveness

Photo courtesy of Corbis Images

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.  ~Ephesians 4:32

Before communion this morning, our pastor preached on this verse & asked us to examine ourselves to make certain that we would not "eat of the bread or drink of the cup in a manner unworthy" & thus "be guilty concerning the body & blood of the Lord."  (1 Cor. 11:20-34)  As I sit here, I can honestly say that at the moment there is no one with whom I am at odds & in need of extending forgiveness toward.  However, that's not always the case & certainly has not been so in the past.  Forgiving others can sometimes be one of the hardest of God's commands to follow.  Today, I'd like to share with you a personal story of forgiveness, highlighting God's grace in bringing me to it.

As you may or may not know, I was molested as a child; however, that's not what I want to focus on here.  What I want to focus on is how God brought me through the anger & hatred that I felt for the family who blamed me to the place of healing & forgiveness.  When I discovered that not only had it happened again, but that my family's reaction toward this victim was the same as it had been toward me, concentrated anger flooded over me.  Anger that hardened into full-blown hate.

As a Christian, I knew it was wrong to hate, knew that:

If anyone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.  ~1 John 4:20

Yet, I foolishly thought this did not apply to me because of the heinous nature of what was done to me (& her), both by the molester & by my family.  I had a right to be angry - my anger was righteous - & I had a right to hate.  The result of this was that I cut off all ties with my family for several years as the anger ate me alive from the inside out.

Anger - & its by-product hate - is a funny animal.  As it took hold in my heart, I nursed it.  As I nursed it, it's tentacles entagled themselves ever deeper until it colored every part of my life & held me captive.  I was in constant turmoil, wanting to be reconciled with those I'd once cherished, but clutching tightly to my anger in the face of their refusal to acknowledge & atone for their wrongs.  The only way, to my mind, for the relationships to be redeemed was for the guilty to pay for their sins.  It got to the point where I carried around a constant burning in the pit of my stomach, a knot that never loosened.  I went so far as to try to escape it all by moving 650 miles away.  I thought distance would heal me.  It did lessen the pressure because I no longer faced the situation daily, but I was by no means healed.

During the course of my struggles, I sought the help of 2 pastors & 2 counselors.  Even so, my anger & anguish were not alleviated.  One evening, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my anger & unforgiving attitude.  I don't remember what the sermon I was listening to was on, but I remember this overwhelming certainty that I needed to forgive.  When the Holy Spirit prods, it's foolish to ignore Him, so I reached out & reconciled with my family.  And I thought I had forgiven them.  The only thing was that when I thought about everything that had happened - the molestation, their betrayal, their refusal to admit wrong & apologize - I was still filled with anger.  And while I was on speaking terms with them, I was really just going through the motions.  I told myself that my cold heart towards them was natural because they had done nothing to earn back my trust.  I was just being cautious with my heart so that they couldn't hurt me again.  And while it is true that you can forgive someone without placing trust in them, looking back I can say that this simply was not what was going on here.  I was cold of heart because I had not fully forgiven them.  I still expected payment.

Fast-forward again.  When Michael & I met, I nervously shared with him the story of my molestation.  Nervously, because I saw myself as dirty, damaged goods.  I figured he needed to know sooner rather than later so he could bail if he wanted to.  He didn't.  Instead, he sent me a box of books & sermons.  Contained in that box was Mark Driscoll's sermon on expiation & C.J. Mahaney's book Living the Cross-Centered Life.  I cried as Mark explained from the Scriptures that Christ's death on the cross cleansed me not only of the sins I commit, but also of the sins committed against me.  This laid the foundation for C.J.'s book, through which, by the grace of God, I was finally freed.  And through which I was finally able to free my prisoners.  It was amazingly simple!  What finally freed me was the Gospel.

Christ, one with God the Father from eternity past, became incarnate & dwelt among us.  Fully God & fully man, He lived a perfectly sinless life, always in the will of the Father, living in complete communion with & submission to the Father in our place.  When it pleased the Father, Christ was punished for our sin in His death on the cross.  Bearing our shame, bearing God's wrath, He died the death we deserve.  Through His mercy & grace, we are given His righteousness when we repent of our sin & believe in Him.  He was condemned so we could be justified.

As I read Living the Cross-Centered Life, the truth of the Gospel hit me between the eyes full force.  I realized for the first time the heinous nature of my own sin.  Because God is perfectly holy, in order for me to enter His presence, I must be perfectly holy.  And I'm not.  Because I'm not, to show His great mercy & to bring glory to His name, He paid for my sin so I could come to Him.  The offended paid the penalty for the offender.  Incredible!  In seeing this truth, I also realized that the sins committed against me, no matter how horrible, pale in comparison to my sin against God.  Because, the true measure of sin is not the sin itself, but who is sinned against.  And since God is infinitely holy, all sin committed against Him - no matter how "small" in our eyes - is infinitely wicked & infinitely worthy of damnation.  That's simply not the case when someone sins against me.

So, the conclusion that I arrived at was this:  If God has forgiven me, who am I to withhold forgiveness from others?  In that instant, I was finally freed!  Totally, completely, wholly freed!  What happened to me was wrong, but I no longer feel anger over it.  I no longer hold my family hostage.  I never got an acknowledgement or an apology from them, & I find I no longer need it.  The truth of the matter is, if they're saved - & I believe they are - then Christ has already paid for their sins, & they are no more.

So, let me encourage you.  If you're facing a situation & are finding it difficult to forgive, you can just let it go.  You can meditate on & rejoice in the Gospel & forgive.  And you'll discover, as I did, that you'll finally find freedom.

Soli Deo Gloria!

Courageous Movie

We've enjoyed Sherwood Pictures' other films & are really looking forward to this one, too!

Glory To ~ Sovereign Grace Music

Alright, people!  Put your dancing shoes on!  This song will start your morning off right!  I tried in vain to find a video for it - somebody be a dear & make one for me, because I myself don't have a clue how to - but this link is the next best thing.  Turn it up LOUD & dance around!  Enjoy & give "Glory To" the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit!!!

Laughable Mayhem

These Allstate Mayhem videos are proof that I have a twisted sense of humor.  'Cause they seriously crack me up!



Did you catch that wicked little laugh at the end?  Hilarious!



Creepy, but SO funny!  Come on, you know you laughed, too.  ;-)

Catching Up

I spent yesterday & part of today getting reacquainted with an old friend.  We met when I was in college, & I was immediately enthralled.  He was funny, exciting, & could tug at my heart-strings.  I haven't seen or heard from him in 4 years, though, & have really missed him.  But, yesterday, while Michael was otherwise engaged, we were able to do some much needed catching up.  And, just like old times, he made me laugh, he made me cry (just a little, in a sweet way), & he made my heart race with anticipation.  Great times!  And I'm really looking forward to being able to spend a lot of time with him over the next 2-3 weeks!

I had you going there for a second, didn't I?  ;-)  Now on to book 2!  Yea!

On Family-Integrated Churches: Wisdom from Sproul, Jr.

Earlier, I posted a link to the film "Divided" that's recently come out.  The purpose of the film is to explore youth groups in churches, specifically whether they are biblical & helpful.  As a result of this movie, people are coming out in droves debating "Family-Integrated Churches".  I received a new "Ask R.C." in my email this morning that is quite pertinent to this discussion.  R.C. Sproul, Jr. receives questions from people on a whole host of biblical topics, & he posts the answers for the benefit of all.  I found his following words to be overflowing with timely wisdom.  I hope you enjoy them as well!

"Q:  Help! We can’t find a family integrated church in our area. What should we do?

A:  First, whenever the question is, “What should we do?” the best first answer is “Repent and believe the gospel.” God does not welcome into His kingdom only those who both trust in the finished work of Christ alone and don’t allow their children into youth group. Some, sad to say, get so excited about discovering that the notion that our children must attend youth group or Sunday School is nothing more than tradition with no biblical warrant, end up with a rather distorted sense of priorities. Some forget the vital distinction between primary and secondary issues. Some, I’m afraid, would rather be in a family-integrated Mormon “church” than a divided evangelical church. Even more, almost as bad, would rather not be in a church than be in a divided church. In order not to divide up their family, the whole family is divided from the church, as these families set up their own “churches” in their own homes. These are in turn cut off from the blessings of elders, pastors, the communion of the saints and the grace of discipline. They are divided from the church. It is madness.

Second, one can always be a family integrated family, even without a family integrated church. I know of no church that requires its members to send their children to youth group, or to Sunday School. You can keep your family together even when others don’t see the wisdom of doing so. You may have to miss Sunday School, or you could, graciously and kindly ask if your child or children might sit in on the adult Sunday School, or if you might sit in in theirs. You can always teach your family together at home before you go to join the saints in corporate worship on the Lord’s Day morning.

Third, you can relax. Though I am confident that a family-integrated church is the best way to go, though I would love to see many churches go back to how the church operated over the centuries, I know in turn that there are plenty of family integrated churches that have far deeper problems than some non family integrated churches. I know that most non family integrated churches have far deeper problems than not being family integrated. We are bodies made up of sinners, and so we ought not be surprised when sin shows its ugly head in our corporate life. When it does, our first instinct ought to be to look for the log in our own eyes. The youth leader is likely not secretly seeking to seduce your children to the dark side. He wants to help. The octogenarian Sunday School teacher isn’t the devil’s handmaiden. She wants to help. The elders who created these programs, even if those programs have some overlap with a Darwinian understanding of education, are not a cabal of Darwinians. They want to help.

With all the cancer my family has been through I have had countless deeply caring people suggest countless alternative therapies. Though they might be right, my response is a sincere, “No thank you.” I don’t need to make them agree with me. I don’t need to defeat their arguments or evidence. I don’t need to have internet wars over their theories. I just pass on what they offer. Sometimes I read their information. Sometimes I don’t. You certainly can feel free to talk to others about your commitment to keeping your family together. You can talk to your pastor and your elders about the issue. But if they don’t hear you as loving, gracious, relaxed, and committed to the well being of the congregation, then you have a bigger problem than age segregation. You have a Hebrews 13:17 problem.:

Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief for that is unprofitable for you.

So back to step one. Repent, and believe the gospel."

A Little Political Debunking

I've seen some weird statements that Herman Cain or Michele Bauchmann are "Tea Party darlings".  See, I have a hard time processing how that can be because the whole Tea Party movement began with a money bomb for Ron Paul on the anniversary of the Boston Tea Party during the 2008 election.  If you're a "Tea Partier" with a choice between Ron Paul & someone else, you choose Ron Paul.  Period.  But, because these two are getting some press, I'm going to take a little time & debunk them for you.  'Cause let me tell you, they can talk a good game, but their record shows that they are not what they pretend!  Thomas E. Woods is a great historian, so this is an excellent place to begin your education.  Don't take his word as Gospel, but use this as a jumping-off place.  And, by all means, do not just rely on the media for your information . . . including "fair & unbiased" Fox News!

First up, learn about the trouble with Herman Cain:



As for Michele, you can read about her voting record here, which may be quite illuminating for those who believe her to be a "Constitutional Conservative".

And finally, watch below for a quick synopsis - meant for the Iowa voters heading to the straw poll, but more than applicable to the entire American constituency - of why Ron Paul is the most qualified man for the presidency:

Fireworks Fail

I wanted to take really beautiful pictures of the 4th of July fireworks.  Really, I did!  Michael & I missed out on the last 2 celebrations because he was working.  So, I was really looking forward to heading down to the riverfront to enjoy the fireworks this year.  And take pictures, of course!  I LOVE taking pictures, & have fancied myself to be somewhat good at it, particularly because of my Smoky Mountains & Spring pictures.  Well!  Turns out, taking pictures of fireworks is quite different!  I put the camera on the night-vision setting & fired away.  I expected beautiful pictures at which we could "oooh!" & "aaah!".  Here's what I actually got.  Make sure you're sitting down so you don't hurt yourself laughing at me.  Seriously.  Sit.

Like, seriously?!  What in the world happened?!  I haven't a clue.  It could have to do with that delay-shutter thing that kept happening.  Not being able to take rapid pictures didn't help, either, & made me miss quite a few pictures.  Although, judging by the products, perhaps that's not such a bad thing!  ;-)  Yep.  Fireworks.  I think I might skip next year's "photo adventure".  Then again . . . maybe the world could use some "artsy" fireworks pictures!  (Artsy's what I'm gonna go with here to soothe my wounded ego!)  ;-)

Quotable Christians

I'd like to share some quotes with you that have been meaningful statements in my life over the last couple of weeks.  These are by no means the only meaningful statements that have impacted me, but I don't think anybody has time enough for me to list them all!  ;-)  So, for the sake of brevity, I'm choosing 3 (my favorite number - yes, I'm dorky enough to have such a thing) to share.  First up:  John Piper (admit it, you knew he'd be in here!) . . .

     *"When you are united to Christ, by one thing – faith – you are disunited from His competitors – sin.  If you are at home with Jesus, you are at odds with sin.  Not because being at odds with sin makes you at home with Jesus, but because being at home with Jesus makes you at odds with sin!"

Can you guess who said this next one when speaking of the formulation of his doctrine?

     *"I should have much to answer for had I invented it myself, or taken it upon trust from Calvin, but as I find it in the Scripture I cheerfully embrace it."  Time's up!  If you guessed John Newton, go buy yourself some ice cream (the best reward for a job well done that I can conceive)!

And last, but certainly not least, a quote from a man that I admire, respect, & love personally - my own pastor:

     *"Everything about our faith is personal, but none of it is private."

So!  There you have it.  Be at home with Jesus - through faith - & at odds with your sin, form your beliefs on God's Word alone, & share your faith with others both in word & deed.  Words of wisdom to live by.  Go in peace; serve the Lord!

Edelweiss ~ The Honey Trees

This song is filled with such longing.  Ever since falling in love with it through "The Sound of Music", aching as Captain von Trapp struggles through it on stage, knowing that the Austria he loves will never be the same, I have felt that longing.  In my estimation, this version definitely does the original justice.

A Grammar Lesson

I love grammar & spelling.  I've been blessed that both have always come naturally to me.  And, perhaps because I was a teacher for 6 years, I feel the urge to teach a little lesson today.  Now, don't drop off to sleep here; I promise this will be quick & painless!  And if I sound like I'm talking to 2nd graders, please forgive me; that was my average audience once upon a time.

"What has brought this up now?", you may ask.  Well, Michael & I have passed a billboard several times that is driving me crazy!  Seriously.  I'm actually considering emailing the people who put it up.  It's a very large billboard - as most of them are - right out on the interstate, for all passersby to behold.  This particular billboard's offense (oooh!  dramatic, huh?) is to spell the contraction for "you all" incorrectly.  Yep, this really does bother me.  The first time I saw it, I started screaming & throwing things around the cab of the truck, & we got pulled over by the police & . . . okay, not really.  (You didn't really fall for that, did you?)  But it does get on my nerves to the point where I wonder how Southerners could mess up this quintessential Southern saying.  I've heard tell that some people, upon hearing a Southern accent, automatically assume that person's intelligence to be inferior.  To my mind, there's no sense in perpetuating that misconception by lauding poor grammar for all travelers foreign & domestic (to the South, that is) to see.  It's obviously a small matter & certainly not urgent, but man, it grates on my nerves!  I'm weird that way.  ;-)

So, today's lesson will be on contractions, specifically how to properly write them.  A contraction is one word made by smashing two separate words together.  I used to tell my kids that it was like two word-trains on the same track that came together so forcefully that some of the letters just popped right out.  Then, we put an apostrophe in the place of the missing letters.  For example:

     *Look at "they will" & "they'll".  The two letters that have popped out are 'w' & 'i', so that's where we put the apostrophe.  The same thing happens for "she will" (she'll), "we will" (we'll), & "you will" (you'll).

I actually understand why people spell the contraction for "you all" the same way; they assume it's just like the examples above.  But look:

     * When "you all" smashes together, the 'o' & 'u' are the letters that pop out, & when you put an apostrophe in the place of these missing letters, it goes right behind the 'y'.  So, instead of ya'll (splitting up the complete word 'all', as in the offending billboard message), the correct spelling is y'all.

Okay!  I'm down off of my soapbox.  See?  Quick & painless!  Loads more introduction than instruction.  That's how I roll!  (I just wanted to try that, but it really sounds odd coming out of my "mouth", doesn't it?)  Anyways, thank y'all for staying with me & putting up with my idiosyncrasies.  Y'all have been great!  I hope y'all have a wonderful rest of the day!  (Just practicing!)  ;-)

Moon River ~ The Honey Trees

I love sweet, simple, low-key songs like this version of the classic.

Divided

Official Divided the Movie (HD Version) from NCFIC on Vimeo.

Michael & I watched this movie last evening & were quite intrigued.  We found the arguments for father-to-child discipleship & against age segregation in the church to be quite compelling.  We would like to hear from y'all.  After watching the movie (which isn't all that long) & dealing with the texts discussed therein, please let us know your thoughts.  We hope y'all enjoy the film as much as we did!

Joy Made Complete

What a heart-stirring, poignant video!  Visit Katie once again to see the rest of the story.  God is truly amazing!

True North

Photo courtesy of Favim.com

True North.  Sailors on the high seas or backpackers struggling through the wilderness navigate by it.  It's different from the magnetic North found on a compass in that it never deviates.  True North never moves from its place.  It's stable.  Constant.  Unwavering.  And therefore trustworthy.

Like those travelers, we are all trying to navigate through this life.  The number of stars that beckon to us, that threaten to throw us off course, that try to distract us, are innumerable.  And if we're not careful, following their siren's song can dash us against the rocks in the end.  So, we need a True North.  We need a stable, constant, unwavering, & altogether trustworthy Authority to guide us through both tempestuous & calm seas.

Each day we are inundated with situations that demand our opinions & actions:
     ~A mother choosing between life or aborting her child;
     ~A husband choosing between honoring his vows or abandoning his marriage;
     ~A son choosing between honoring his parents or rebelling against their God-given authority;
     ~A daughter choosing between modest or provocative dress;
     ~An uncle choosing between giving into or fighting his sinful same-sex attractions;
     ~A wife choosing between an angry response or a soft answer that turns away wrath;
     ~A brother choosing between laziness or industry;
     ~A grandmother choosing between gluttony or finding satisfaction in Christ . . .

How do we decide what the correct course is? Sadly, all too often, we rely on our own opinions. None of us form our opinions in a vacuum; all of us are influenced in some way, for good or evil. The idea of "original thought" is a fallacy; for that to be possible, we would have to think something that no one in the history of mankind has thought. So, the foundation of our opinions matters a great deal. So far as I see it, there are two possible foundations:

     *Ourselves - We form our own opinions, determining what is right & wrong for ourselves. There's just one problem here: our opinions are influenced by our emotions & our culture. Are either of those stable? Constant? Unwavering? Goodness, are either of those perfectly sinless? Incablable of error? Then why in the world would we consider them trustworthy?

     *The Word of God - We form our opinions - & thus our actions - on Scripture alone, looking to God to determine what is right & wrong. We recognize that - unlike God & His Word - we are not infallible, nor inerrant, nor omniscient. We have not perfect knowledge, so we cannot come to perfect understanding that is required to form perfect thoughts & opinions. We recognize that because our every thought, word, & deed is tainted by sin, we cannot rely on ourselves to make perfect judgments or decisions.

Here's an example to illustrate my point: I became embroiled a couple of weeks ago in a debate regarding homosexuality, specifically the nature of it.  What was most surprising about this debate was that it was begun by a woman who grew up in the church & claims Christ as her Savior.  And yet, in the course of our dialogue, she made it clear that she considers homosexuality to be perfectly normal & sinless.  Now, where would she have gotten this notion?  Certainly not from Scripture, for - as I pointed out - God's Word is replete with condemnation for this "dishonorable" (Rom. 1:26-27) & "unnatural" (Jude 1:7) "abomination" (Lev. 18:22 & 20:13).  She paid no heed.  So, if Scripture isn't her final authority, what is?  It turns out she is her own authority, & that is a most precarious position in which to be.

In our Sunday school lesson today, we discussed how we don't want to be servants of the King, but our own mini-kings.  Our fondest desire is to see our own desires fulfilled.  So, we set ourselves up on the thrones of our hearts, determining that whatever we deem to be good & right is reality.  We put ourselves in the center, in the place of authority . . . & thus lead ourselves & those who follow our example to wreck & ruin.

We all need to steer by True North - a stable, constant, unwavering, & trustworthy Authority.  Such is the Word of God, & such should be the foundation of all of our lives.  It's the only guide that won't lead us off course.

Reading God's Word Aloud - A Shared Article

Have you been to A Glimpse of Our Vapor yet?  It's a precious blog filled with personal stories of the Kizziah's lives as well as testimonies to God's grace.  If you haven't read it, you should.  Allow me to encourage you to let today be that day, for Katie has shared an article that her brother Kameron wrote regarding the reading of Scripture aloud.  It's humble, sprinkled with Scripture all throughout (my favorite kind of post), & simply wonderful.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!  God's blessings!