Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Highs & Lows

Today I have experienced my highest high & my lowest low.  My high actually came yesterday (& carried over into today) with the news that God has delivered our loved one from her trial.  We had a possible terminal diagnosis from one doctor, but she received a second work-up yesterday from a specialist & received a clean bill of health!  We have all held firmly to the belief that God is good in good times & in bad.  We have queried with Job, "Shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?" and answered with a resounding, "though He slay me, I will hope in Him".  God brought us to the brink, & then snatched us back.  And through this brief, though fierce, trial He has taught many & brought many to Him.  It's astounding to see the number of people that were touched & the faiths that were deepened through this situation.  "For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and He is to be held in awe above all gods." (1 Chron. 16:25)

My low has come just this evening when we picked Ginger & Jake up from my father-in-law's.  Between yesterday morning when we dropped her off & this evening, her lymph nodes have doubled in size!  "How did this happen in one day?!", I choked out through sobs to Michael.  Apparently, this is what happens when the cancer is out of control.  Her whole face is now filled with swollen lymph nodes & her airway is being obstructed more.  She doesn't seem to be in distress, although she obviously doesn't feel well.  I have a very bad feeling that we're coming to the end much faster than I expected.  I thought we had a couple of months maybe, but it's now looking like a couple of weeks or even days.  I feel like I can't breathe.  I'm on the verge of tears constantly.  Please pray that God will give me grace to get through this (I know He will).  Please pray that Ginger won't suffer.  Please pray that I'll have the strength to end her suffering, if it should come to that.  Please pray it won't.  Please pray for my dear mother & husband who suffer immensely at my suffering.  Oh, God, please help me!

2 comments:

Jennifer said...

so, so sorry, praying for you...

thesovereignjoy said...

Praying and grateful the word on Michael's sister. Hopefully we will see you guys tonight. It's a fellowship meal (Apples of Gold) Wednesday night.